Mother is gone on a trip, so I decided it was time to assert my authority over Father and the smelly beast dogs. Father is a pushover, even though he likes to grab me by the scruff of the neck and make me dance across the floor. I allow him to do it because it is rather fun. Don’t tell Mother.

The first night Mother was gone, those dumb dogs got up on the couch together and slept there all night. I woke up Father and pointed out this despicable behavior, but he failed to discipline them properly. If it was up to me, they would be out in the backyard with no food. In the snow.

That obnoxious Other cat who lives here is completely cowed by me, so she has caused me no trouble. I have tried to convince her that it is in her best interest to break into the cabinet where Mother keeps the dry cat food but so far she has failed to do so.

If Mother doesn’t come back soon, I will have everyone completely under my control. I just need several more days and they will be my slaves.

~ Boots