5:00 am: Wake up, snort around Mom’s bed until she wakes up, then lick her toes till she gets up to let me out. Hey, I had to hold it all night!
Our beautiful boy Charlie
6:00 am: Put my chin on the bed and try to reach her nostrils with my tongue. I’ve done it before…I can do it again.
6:15 am: Nurse my wounded nose. I got too close to Boots who was hiding on the bed in a down comforter foxhole. I didn’t see the claws coming.
7:00 am: Run around from one side of the bed to the other for at least an hour. Maybe two.
7:01 am: Yay! I get to go outside!
8:15 am: Investigate Mom’s chonies while she wheedles, until she kicks me out of the bathroom.
8:16 am: Fart right outside the bathroom door.
9:00 am: Run up and down the stairs past Boots until she pop-hisses, then stand at the front door hoochin’ up the window and barking at the trees.
9:45 am: Run around in circles bumping into things while Mom puts her coat on and tries to find the tennis balls I hid under the couch yesterday. They should still be wet!
9:46 am: Run around the pasture chasing the tennis balls, chasing the tennis balls, chasing the tennis balls….rest under a tree….chasing the tennis balls, chasing the tennis balls…ow! that one hit me in the head…chasing the tennis balls…
10:30 am: Lay on my fuzzy blanket in front of the woodstove and watch Mom while she runs around the house. My eyes won’t stay open…I’m…so…tired…I’m awake! I’m awake, don’t do anything fun without me!
11:00 am: Finally! Breakfast! Mmmmm….urp! Slosh, slosh, slosh…(60 sec. later) slosh!
12:00 am: I’ve convinced Mom to take me with her to the post office. Maybe she’ll let me take this big stick this time. I got a good grip on it..no, yeah there we go! Hah! Wiw it phhhfit in the carw?
12:10 pm: Flap, flap, flap…blink, blink…flap, flap,…blink, blink, blink…drool on the window.
2:35 pm: Run around outside chewing on that big animal bone I found until Mom comes outside looking for me. Hide around the corner while she calls my name. Come running five minutes later when she’s getting ready to send out the search party.
2:45 pm: Practice coming to Mom when she calls. I always get treats and it makes her feel good.
3:07 pm: Follow Mom around the house for a while till she decides it’s time for our afternoon walk. Lead her out to the stream in the backyard and show off by digging a huge tree limb out of the stream (okay, Mom helps a little) and carrying it around in my teeth like a giant pencil. Make sure it’s balanced….whoa, almost lost it there.
3:15 pm: Stick my nose in the stream up to my eyeballs to make sure I got all the sticks from the bottom.
3:16 pm: Violently snort the water out of my nose.
3:17 pm: Run away after snorting all over Mom. Bark at the giant dogs (horses) for a while.
4:20 pm: Run around Mom in circles while she gather pine needles and pine cones to start the fire. Try to get her to throw sticks.
4:55 pm: Slobber on the UPS man when he comes to pick up the packages. I wish he would play with me!
5:44 pm: Supervise while Mom starts the fire. Make sure my body is blocking her access to the stove at all times. Makes it more challenging for her…
7:10 pm: Drool subtly while Mom eats dinner. Sigh heavily and yawn to get her attention. Darn! She always gives me the broccoli, never the steak!
7: 52 pm: Chase some deer out of the back yard. Eat some deer droppings. Go in for dinner.
8:36 pm: Wake up, look around, make sure that fussy cat isn’t around….wait! She’s staring down at me from that big tree limb in the middle of the house…wish I could get that tree thing in my mouth. I don’t think it would fit…
8:37 pm: Snort, sigh heavily, get up, turn around, plop down, sigh heavily….
10:30 pm: Yawn and get up slowly when Mom asks me if I have to go outside. Walk slowly to the door while she waits for me. Pause halfway out the door while the cold air comes pouring in. Walk out the rest of the way when Mom gives my buns a shove.
10:31 pm: Bark at the trees.
10:32 pm: Pee
10:42 pm: Finishing peeing. Bark at the trees again and growl when the wind blows. You never know…
11:59 pm: Dreamland for dogs. Twitch, whine, growl, twitch, twitch. Harrumph!
