DANCES WITH BATS

This is Boots’ Native American name. For those of you who have been wondering how Boots is getting along in her new home, let me assure you that she is not only having the time of her life but is earning her keep as well. While innocently trying to fall asleep one night while Steve was on the road, I heard the flutter of wings and upon turning on the light discovered that a bat had decided to keep me company for the evening. I tried in vain to shoo it out the door with a broom while Boots stalked it back and forth over the log beams. I finally went to bed and slept with the covers over my head. Next night, as soon as the lights were out so was my bat friend. Exasperated, I turned on the light just in time to see Boots of the Wild Kingdom reaching up and snagging that bat right out of the air. She brought it down on the floor and pounced on it, then dragged it away to eat. I don’t think Mr. Bat knew what hit him. I turned out the light and I could hear her crunching bones in the dark. Eewwww!

SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENT

While on our recent road trip to Southern and Northern California, minds did wander as the miles rolled on, and we got to wondering if yawns are contagious with dogs like they are with people. So, being the top scientific people in our respective fields, we decided to experiment. Steve yawned. Then I yawned. Then…Charlie yawned! It worked a total of 1 time in a row, so we claimed complete success and brought the experiment to an end. Another great day for science.

KNAPWEED ERADICATION TEAM

Summer is here and so is the noxious knapweed. Our front pasture, formerly home merely to rocks and horse poo, is now a breeding ground for the noxious weed that has taken over Montana. We spent an hour the other day pulling it out of our front lawn. But help is on the way! We were told to call 1-800-Rent-A-Goat to get a critter that will come eat the weeds out of the pasture. No kidding! Charlie will be in heaven. He’ll think we got him a sister!

THAR’S A BAR OUT THAR

I mean bear. Although I’m sure there’s a bar nearby as well, the bear is a bit more exciting. We first saw him when we were walking home from the trailhead the other night. We saw him near our front gate and couldn’t tell if it was a deer or a really big raccoon. Well, when we got to the gate, we saw our 90 gal. garbage can tipped over and garbage strewn hither and yon. I heard some snuffling and snorfing in the bushes and it didn’t sound like no deer to me! Later, Stevo went out to the store and scared the bear up a tree. He said it’s a teenager. So now we have to keep everything in the garage, and Boots in the house at night. Well, you can guess that Queen of the Forest isn’t happy about that.

FENG SHUI AND THE COUNTRY LIFE

Yeah, it’s a buzzword, but it’s a good buzzword! And, it happens to work. We spent today trying to get a mostly dead tree next to the driveway to live again. We’re making a rock border and we’re going to plant lilac around it to help it grow. A little hydrogen peroxide doesn’t hurt either. I’ve read you can bring trees back by pouring a 3% solution around the base of the tree. Anyway, we’re feng shui-ing the landscape as well as the inside of the house and it’s a lot of fun. Steve and I are impressing each other with our muscles as we take turns digging rocks out of the ground. We also decided that the house on 10 acres next to us should be ours as well, so put that intention out there. We’ll keep you posted.

HI, MY NAME IS CHARLIE AND I CHASE DEER

Charlie is currently attending Deer-aholics Anonymous to learn that he is powerless to stop his deer chasing. It’s a 12-paw program designed to teach him self-control. Steve and I are in a similar type of group, Scone-aholics Anonymous. It’s not working too well for us. We are still powerless over the scones!

DR. STEVO, MIRACLE MAN

One of Steve’s San Jose patients came up this week to get treated and today, her fifth visit to date, she regained sensation in a paralyzed foot. She was so happy, she decided to merely fire the putz doctor that diagnosed her with “hysterical paralysis” instead of booting him firmly in the ass with her newly thawed foot. Stevo and I did the dance of joy (also known as River Dance, albeit much less professionally executed) to celebrate her healing. All this and he washes windows, too!