NEW SCIENTIFIC PHENOMENON

A virtually unknown scientific phenomenon, now known as the “Steve Vortex”, has recently been discovered in Montana. This involves the study of the unique behavior of sheets and blankets when Steve is sleeping. For some mysterious reason, when I get out of bed at 5:30 am to let the dogs out and return a few moments later to snuggle back under the warm covers, I find that the sheets and blanket have been sucked under and around Steve in a virtually impenetrable, twisting vortex of cotton. I have to yank and pull and curse to get access to the blankets. Sometimes this phenomenon actually happens while I’m sleeping, and it’s only been my quick action that has saved a hand or foot from being pulled into the vortex! Life is fraught with danger, but it’s never boring.

DOG DROOL – NATURE’S SKIN CONDITIONER

In the continuing saga of Charlie and Cowboy Joe, Joe has learned to live with spiky fur. Charlie can’t help but try to fit his mouth around Joe’s whole head on a daily basis. The upside is that Joe’s fur is silky soft! Steve and I are thinking about trying Charlie’s hooch on our skin on a trial basis. This could be a niche market….we could make millions!

AND THEY CALL CHICAGO THE WINDY CITY!

We had a bonzer windstorm the other night! Our rough count is 30 trees down on our property, mostly pine trees. These are *live* trees, pulled up by the roots, leaving huge holes all over the place. One tree near the house (a dead one) snapped off and hit the propane tank! I think the tank survived, but I’m having someone come check it out anyway. We had the foresight to put all the cars away, but no trees fell on the driveway. We’re now looking at all the trees near the house and deciding which ones should go. Needless to say, our wood for the next year (and beyond) is already on the ground. Steve just has to chop it up. He’s in the kitchen eating everything in sight to bulk up for the job! Now we just need to get our wind generator built.

WHERE’S THE BEEF?

In our freezer, apparently. We finally found a source for inexpensive, hormone-free, antibiotic-free beef. So naturally we ordered 120 pounds of it, and then we had to buy a freezer to put it in. So, today we took delivery of one low-energy, solar-compliant freezer and two such refrigerators (they’re small). We’re ready for our alternative energy source! And, as a bonus, the new refrigerators are that sexy European stainless steel that men love so much. Steve has been spending a lot more time in the kitchen. 😉

DOG BALLET

Well, Charlie and Joe get along so well that they are now developing their talents as dancing partners. Charlie will grab a stick and taunt Joe with it, and Joe will grab the other end and they dance around the yard together looking like a yin-yang symbol. Sometimes they are standing the same way and they gallop around the yard together, each with one end of the stick in his mouth, and they look like a couple of oxen. The other day they jumped over the creek this way. What a lovely couple! We’re planning on entering them in contests…

WANTED: SOMETHING TO HERD

In yet another tedious dog story, Cowboy Joe is part border collie and seems to need to work. He has a habit of running after Charlie and grabbing him by the ear, the jowls, or the loose fur on his neck, and herding him back to the house. It’s funny to see this 40-pound dog stretching his head up to keep a hold on this 110-pound dog and get him to go back to the house. However, it works! We figure it’s a balance – Charlie tries to eat Joe’s head, Joe gets to drag Charlie around by the neck. I think we’ll get some chickens so Joe has some variety in his job!