Welcome boys and girls. Today, we’re going to talk about trees….pine trees. Can you say “Ponderosa Pine”? Can you say “what a pain”? Good! Now today, we’re visiting Laura and Steve at their home in Montana. Can you say “Brrrrr”? Laura and Steve are splitting wood, a great, big, lovely pile of wood. Can you say “owie”? This is the wood that is going to keep Laura and Steve and all their little animal friends warm this winter. Can you say “forced air heating”? That’s what Laura says!

“This is Biff Biddleburg. We interrupt this program for a special report. Live from Stevensville, Montana, we have Brittany Taffy, our correspondent on the spot. Brittany Taffy, what’s the news today?”

“Well, Biff, in a bizzare incident on North Kootenai Road, a man and woman were found collapsed next to a giant pile of wood. Written on the pile, in what is believed to be beer foam, are the words “forced air heating”. Biff, neighbors believe the couple may have had a late-afternoon dispute over the issue of how to keep warm this winter, resulting in the awful carnage you see here behind me. ”

“Brittany Taffy, how many beers do you think we lost?”

“Well, Biff, it’s too soon to tell, but judging by the amount of foam, I’d have to say more than a six-pack.”

“A tragedy, to be sure. Thanks Brittany Taffy for your on-the-spot reporting. We’ll have a complete update of this breaking news story at 10pm. Please stay tuned. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.”

…and you can see, boys and girls, that by shaking the beer can, you get much more foam than if you just tip it upside down. Can you say “toga party”? Well, maybe we’ll get to that next time! Let’s get back to those trees, shall we? See all the big trees with the big roots sticking up in the air? Can you say “their life is trees”? Good! Now, see the cute little wagon with a motor boys and girls? That’s what Laura and Steve use to move all the wood they cut up into the big, lovely pile. See the chain? That’s what they use to drag the big, lovely trees around the yard so Mr. Loggerman can come pick them up in his truck. Can you say “profit motive”? See the log-splitting machine? That’s what they use to split all the wood so they can use it in their stove. Can you say “smart move”? Good!

Now next time, boys and girls, we’re going to talk about log oil. That’s what Steve and Laura spray on the house to keep it look pretty. Now won’t that be exciting! Can you say “toxic overload”? Good!

See you next time!